Posted by: fullandbye | May 20, 2010


If there is hell, I hope there is a special place reserved in hell for the asshole who started the myth that roosters only crow at dawn.

I have news for you, urban dwellers who have never been around a cock in your life: Roosters crow whenever the hell they feel like it.

I actually think that roosters crow whenever their five functioning neurons manage to fire simultaneously and give roosters a “thought” (including the thought “Holy shit! I’m a rooster!).

But it is true that roosters crow a lot more at dawn. This is easily explained by my previous logic. I think that roosters are so dumb that by daybreak they have forgotten completely what dawn is so they think “holy shit! it’s getting light outside!” and then once it is light they are surprised by pretty much everything they see; “Holy shit! Two sticks in some mud!” or “Holy shit! A pile of garbage!”

I am all for civil liberties. But after living in rooster land for a year already, I can really appreciate Seattle’s ban on urban rooster keeping.



  1. Yeah, I used to have some chickens AND roosters as pets. They are much more delicious than they are intelligent.

  2. I wonder how chickens came to their place of supremacy in the "tastes like chicken" normative construct. Rabbits taste better than chicken. They are also quieter and way more adorable. We should be saying that things taste like rabbit and we should be eating way more rabbit than chicken. Stupid chickens.

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