Posted by: fullandbye | March 25, 2009

trains planes and automobiles

27hrs to the minute after I walked out the door in Seattle, I am sitting in the guest room of my grandparent’s place in the North (WAY North) of Israel. Getting here took a combination of Trains, Planes and Automobiles.

Not much else to report. Heather and I had a spiritual day on Monday, and I saw the shape of a skeleton silhouetted on the screen in front of the venetian blinds. Without going into detail, I can say honestly that this was actually not the strangest thing that happened within a hundred hour or so timespan.

Couple things happened on my journey here that are both worth mention.

THING THE FIRST: The plane from Atlanta to Tel Aviv was perhaps 90% evangelical christian types. From the matching luggage, name badges, and hats, I could determine that they were broken up into three or four tour groups. My favorite tour group was named “Jesus Isreal”. Get it? Jesus lived in what is now Israel, but by flipping the “e” and the “a” they end up elliding two words and come up with the statement “Jesus Is Real”. Oh yeah. Clever.

In any case, once I could get past the poofy hairdos and thick southern accents and start to focus on what these people were actually saying, I found their conversations somewhat charming.

For the most part the men in this group were somewhat laconic, so imagine all these things being said by poofy haired southern women with VERY thick accents. These are all things I heard and wrote down while in the waiting area for the flight:

“How many miles is it? 7000? We are going to need a lot of blessings to make it 7000 miles without the devil breaking this airplane to bits. Yes sir, a lot of blessings indeed.”

“What would Jesus want? I keep asking myself, what would Jesus want?”

“Oh, I am so excited to go to the Holy Land. Can you imagine? We are going to walk where Jesus walked and talk where Jesus talked!”

“Oh hon, you will just love the Israelis. They are people of the book. Yes sir, keeping the spirit holy and living the prophesy”

Here is what makes this whole moment so precious. While these pilgrims were yaking it up about Jesus this and Jesus that, two long-haired Israeli backpackers were having an equally intense conversation about whether the blowjobs were better in Rio de Janeiro or Buenos Aires.

I laughed hysterically and choked on some water and ended up going through security with tears streaming down my cheeks from a coughing fit.

THING THE SECOND: While on my flight from Atlanta to Tel Aviv I sat in a magical seat. Every time I woke up from a nap, I would find an additional pillow wedged between my seat and the wall of the airplane. I made sure to check on the people in front and behind me to make sure I was not inadvertently taking their pillows and indeed I was not. The meaning of this incident is beyond me, but truly it was extraordinary. By the end of the filght I had five (5) pillows.

Effect of melatonin are kicking in. Time for me to sleep.



  1. five pillows!?damn.

  2. Damn. That’s a lot of pillows. That’s why you’re my lucky charm.
    I still haven’t heard much about the spirtual day! Tell me tell me!

  3. whoa whoa whoa… wait… which one was better?

  4. Raz, I’m so happy you had enough blessings to make it the 7000 miles without the devil breaking your airplane to bits. I hope you have an amazing time! Miss you already.

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