Posted by: fullandbye | October 31, 2007


It is amazing how our priorities change from minute to minute.

There are all sorts of things I want; some are material and some are immaterial.

If I were granted a single material wish right now I would wish for the ability to breathe through not one, but both of my nostrils. That would be amazing. I can literally think of no material thing I want more at this precise moment than to breathe normally. If this wish were denied I would at least ask for a monkey wearing a checkered top-hat and velvet waistcoat to follow me everywhere with a limitless supply of clean hankies and a miniature accordion to make a racket when I blow my nose. That would be pretty amazing too.

Oh man. Maybe it is a toss up between wish one and wish two.

If I were granted an immaterial wish I might ask what the hell the evolutionary advantage of snot is. This is if world peace, environmental equilibrium, and end to poverty etc. were deemed too tall an order of course. But I have a nagging suspicion that achieving these ideals are perhaps easier than explaining snot in any satisfactory manner.

Snot. Seriously. WTF?

Tell me, at this precise instant, what is your fondest wish?


  1. Nasal mucus has two key purposes: a) to serve as a trap for foreign particles like dust and spores, and b) to serve as a carrier medium for IgA antibodies. While some research indicates that a third purpose exists (that of a social function for impressing one’s fellows early in life, thus slotting into a position of social dominance and eventually increasing reproductive success), the researching authorities (8 year olds) use suspect methods.

  2. beat me to the increasing fitness line. damn you.

  3. I wish I knew enough about electronics and motors that I could stay up all night making something.
    No, wait, I wish I spoke Spanish. 101 level. Before 8:30 tomorrow.
    But yeah, what Chris said. Know what helps me, if only for an instant? Standing upside down, or putting your head back and resting it on the floor while you’re sitting in a chair.

  4. To feel well-rested and energized. I don’t really remember the last time I felt that way when I woke up.
    When I had runny noses as a child, my mother made me sit over a bowl of hot water with Eucalyptus in it and steam. I’m not really sure how much it helped as I mainly remember feeling vaguely clammy afterward.

  5. my very fondest wish, at this moment, is to have a coffee date with my best friend who lives in Germany and who I have not seen in ages.

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