Posted by: fullandbye | February 5, 2007

my face feels like burning

Yesterday I brushed my beard.

It hurt like fuck. So badly did it hurt in fact that three hours after I aborted this wretched undertaking I still had to take great care to keep anything from touching my beard as I was trying to fall asleep. Even the gentlest disturbance made the follicles feel like the wrath of god erupting from my hirsute countenance.

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Responses

  1. Brushing beards is a disaster.

  2. RAZ YOU MADE THIS STORY UP JUST SO YOU COULD USE ‘HIRSUTE’ IN CONTEXT.

  3. Why does brushing a beard hurt so much? It doesn’t hurt to brush the hair on my scalp…. why on the chin?

  4. OH MY GOD RAZ WHY ARE YOU SO INSANE I LOVE YOU. (brandi’s all caps seemed very apt for this post.)

  5. use conditioner (VO5 Hot Oil if it’s really rough) then brush.

  6. You’re telling me?!

  7. THAT IS NOT TRUE!!! ASK LIZ I WAS IN TREMENDOUS PAIN AND VERY GROUCHY WHILE MY FACE FELT LIKE BURNING HORRIBLENESS!!!
    (but you must admit that hirsute is a good word)

  8. The hair is coarser and more matted than head hair. It pretty closely resembles pubic hair actually, so imagine if you had pubic hair growing out of your face, and imagine if it were as thick and as long as my beard is currently (note also that you have not seen me for a few weeks).
    Does this make more sense?

  9. CAITLIN I AM NOT SURE WHY I AM SO INSANE I LOVE YOU TOO LET’S HANG OUT SOON I MISS YOU VERY MUCH SINCE YOU GOT SO TERRIBLY BUSY.

  10. Hey, this is advice from a trustworthy source. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  11. it’s true. the story is true. he complained all evening.

  12. YEAH MAN WHAT IS UP WITH THAT I’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO YOUR HOUSE LET’S HANG OUT NEXT WEEK SOMETIME K TELL ME WHEN.

  13. Did you start at the bottom?

  14. Heavens no! The, uh, procedure only involved my face. What does my bottom have to do with any of this?

  15. post a picture of your self. i want to see this grizzly bear(d).


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