Posted by: fullandbye | July 23, 2006

accomplishments of the weekend:

Accomplishments of the weekend:

  • Not getting major dehydration.
  • Spending the majority of my waking hours sailing on the lake.
  • Not blowing my cool when I got kicked out of a party at 10:30 after the host had passed out and his drugged-out homphobic asshole housemate decided to insult everyone still outside and then kick us out.
  • Turning an otherwise shitty evening around by relocating from shit-party to Kate’s pub with Ben the angry hippie and his girlfriend. Kate’s Pub in Wallingford is quality, and I had forgotten how much I like Pyramid Hefeweizen when it is on tap.
  • Safely biking home after drinking much beer at Kate’s Pub.
  • Rigorously developing sound empirical qualifying conditions to appropriately use the hackneyed phrase “hot as balls”. “Hot as balls” is an ambient temperature sufficiently hot that the removal of one’s trousers and underpants causes no measurable increase in comfort. My method of deconstructing this cliche was highly complex and empirical.


  1. I was wondering how that party was going to break up. I came home and crashed for a few hours, more from the being overactive in the heat than being unusually tore-up.

  2. the phrase ¨”hot as balls,” i feel, is an unfair one. simply because i cannot use it. and “hot as vag” or some such thing is not nearly as much fun to say.

  3. “I heard the Prime Minister use it! ‘Hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum, your Majesty’ he said, and she smiled quietly to herself.”
    I’m also quite fond of “Cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey.” Because it’s about cannonballs, not actual monkeys.

  4. The party ended really badly. I will not return to that house. I am also really worried for Paul.

  5. She’s a good sheila, Bruce, and not at all stuck up!

  6. goddammit you two, now I am going to have the damn philosopher’s song stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

  7. eeeeeeeemanuel kant was a real pissant…

  8. If I was not obligated to a halloween costume already, I would totally be a Bruce.

  9. no! you cannot change! you must be a thing with me!

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