Posted by: fullandbye | March 27, 2006

a cause for concern

With alarming frequency I have been discovering my fly to be unzipped.

I believe that there are three possible explanations for this.

  • The physical explanation: The zippers on my two favorite pairs of carhartt trousers have both developed locking issues and are coming undone
  • The psychological explanation: I have developed some sort of strange condition that has negated years of cultivated habit, and I am consistently forgetting to zip my fly after visiting the restroom
  • The supernatural explanation: Some bored deity is having a really good time at my expense.

I am leaning towards the psychological explanation, but I think this matter should be subject to public discussion. I therefore put it to you, oh wise (and also possibly wizened) masses, to share your opinions and possible suggestions for reversing this disturbing trend.

I would like to find a solution to this problem before the weather becomes such that I am compelled to eschew drawers altogether.

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Responses

  1. has your weight fluxuated? Sometimes a few pounds changes how the pants hang, and the torsional stress applied to the vertices of the zipper, thus opening your fly when your hips swing back and fro.

  2. I have a coupla “magic pants” myself. It’s just the zipper of those particular pants like to unzip themselves. I’ve found that these are pants that fight slightly tighter than others.

  3. Wise, not Wizened. And the same thing’s been happening to me; I attribute it to cause b.

  4. I do not think so. This has only been a problem for a fortnight or so, and I do not think there has been much change recently.

  5. assuming that cause b is correct, what the hell sort of regressive development issues have befallen us?!

  6. I say it’s probably b), in which case you just need to be more careful when you visit the loo.
    but you can always burn some incense or something just in case of c). (I don’t really know how you’d convince a bored deity that it’s not really that fun)

  7. information wants to be free! in this case, it’s not so much “information” as “your wang”.

  8. coming from liz and mo:
    perhaps it is problem d, that you don’t change your panties enough and are subconsciously trying to ventilate your junk.
    try superglue.

  9. panties? Surely you jest, I wear manties!


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