Posted by: fullandbye | October 11, 2004

a shameful lack of judgment.

I think I have a pathological inclination to execute nonlethal bad ideas even when I come to realize that they are bad.

RAZ: A beard tan line!
SANITY: Raz, a beard tan line is a bad idea.
RAZ: No, it is a good idea.
SANITY: Do you really believe that?
RAZ: Um, no. It is a pretty bad idea. But I will do it anyway!


RAZ: A jewfro!
SANITY: Raz, you should not grow a jewfro.
RAZ: But it will be funny.
SANITY: Yes, but it will look stupid, and it is a bad idea.
RAZ: Perhaps, but still, there comes a time in every Jewish male’s life, when despite his better judgment he lets his hair grow out and carries on the tradition of the jewfro, now is my time.
SANITY: Raz, that is really stupid. Have you even seen pictures of your father during the late 70’s?
RAZ: Yes.
SANITY: He looked pretty dumb.
RAZ: yes.
SANITY: You will look dumb.
RAZ: That is certainly a possibility.
SANITY: No Raz, you will look really stupid.

Tonight’s installment of this ongoing comedy/drama.

RAZ: Laxative jellybeans!
SANITY: Raz, do you remember what happened to Brandon after he ate the laxative jellybeans?
RAZ: Yes, but I am not sure if he was making the whole thing up or not. Besides, it could be interesting.
SANITY: Raz, this is an astronomically stupid idea.
RAZ: (gulp).
SANITY: What the? Oh good lord, you are in trouble.
RAZ: (belch).

I cannot believe that curiosity led me to poison myself. I doubt if I will ever live this one down.
To make matters worse, I was at Camden’s house earlier and I was forced to use his toilet which is right adjacent to the kitchen. Then, when Jane found out about my self-induced condition, she made the following humiliating and punny observations:
“I am sure that things will come out all right”
“Well Raz, your plan certainly backfired!”
“Remember Raz, this too shall pass”
No kidding. Thanks Jane.

This whole ordeal has been painful, gross, and embarassing. I am not sure which is more injured, my pride or my digestive tract. The worst part of this is that I have no one to blame but myself. Oh the shame, the shame of it all!


  1. … Wow, Raz.

  2. Yes, those ideas should be executed, save the jewfro.

  3. This day in 1960 – Nikita Khrushchev became enraged at a United Nations conference and told the Filipino delegate that he was “a jerk, a stooge and a lackey of imperialism”, then removed one of his shoes and made a move as to bang it on the table.
    thought of you.

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