Posted by: fullandbye | September 20, 2004

meta

I forgot to post this.

On Saturday I went to the U-District farmers market. It was wonderful.
As I was heading out, I saw Tess and her mom wandering into the market. I quickly darted out of the market, and they did not see me, but I decided to return to the market and say hi, mostly to Tess’s mom, who lives in Australia and whom I will not see again for quite awhile.

***Note***
Anjani (Tess’s Mom) was in many ways as much a mother to me during high school as my own mother was. In many ways, she was more a mom. Despite what may have transpired betwixt me and Tess, I am still really fond of her.
*** End Note***

So I returned to the market and confronted them. Tess spoke a little bit about her time in France. Anjani told me a bit about visiting Tess in France, and I told them about Burning Man, my upcoming trip to Cape Town, and the aching wanderlust that has taken root deep in my torso and continues to writhe and twist, compelling me to go back to Israel, become a JET, or do something away from the comforts of the city I know so well. While I was talking though, I realized that I was making eye contact almost exclusively with Anjani, that I was using the deepest register of my voice, and that I had positioned myself in an “open” position to Anjani, but a “closed” position to Tess.
Normally when I realize I am doing something like this, I work immediately to adopt a more neutral or positive conversational posture. But this time, I decided against it. It was weird; having a conversation while simultaneously having an internal meta-conversation about the conversation’s meta-narrative. (I apologize for that last sentence, each person who reads this is entitled to make ONE joke about me and CHID).

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Responses

  1. Hey Raz!


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